Let’s be real, the Red Wings need to lose as many games as they can for the rest of the season. No hope of playoffs, so what’s the point? On that cheery note, let’s enjoy how the Wings played against one of the best possession teams in the league.

The night started out fairly even – exchanging small chances but each goalie had the best of them. Unfortunately our boy Dylan “D-Boss” Larkin was sent to the box in the first half of the period. That resulted in a weird-looking goal by Finnish Elf-Boy Sebastian Aho.

A shot from the point from Justin Faulk, bouncing off of Mrazek, floating in the air and put on a tee for Aho to hit it in the net for his 18th goal of the season.

Salvaging that goal from nothing – that’s what good players do. That’s what good sweet Elven Angels do. A gift was sent from above, as Sebastian is a gift from above for us.

Following this goal, the Wings had few chances but extremely scrappy ones. Mantha trying to just poke any piece of rubber past Scott Darling while he stood on top of the Hurricanes goaler. These weren’t pretty but they were something and all they could do against these defensive juggernauts.

As I say that, following some nice pressure from the Wings, Danny “The Contract” DeKeyser smokes one from the point and it bounces around like my heart when Sebastian Aho hits the ice. Eventually it goes in the net to tie the game.

As the period almost closes, a wide-open net was taken away from Nyquist by a slash from the coolest Staal brother. But of course, a premier short-handed opportunity was had by the Canes within seconds of the powerplay starting – starring Joakim “Not The Department Store” Nordstrom.

Now, if that was sweet boy Sebastian Aho, the Red Wings would be losing right now. Just another gift the Finnish Elven Prince has given us.

Hemmed into their own zone for what seemed like forever, the Red Wings were able to capitalize on the counter-attack. Led by Darren “How Long?” Helm, passing it back to Trevor “Please Send Me Back To Pittsburgh” Daley. What a fuckin’ rocket. Wings lead 2-1.

It’s beautiful – but not as beautiful as our Scandinavian Angel, Sebastian Aho.

Summing up the majority of this second period, it would be chances coming out of nowhere. Blind shots from the point just being deflected into Darling or Mrazek, rushes towards the net trying to force the puck into the net, etc. These 2017-18 Red Wings, had an actually decent middle of a period.

Some key forecheck pressure has caused some of the Canes d-men to panic a bit and ice the puck, some good work by the Wings forward group. Sebastian Aho was unfazed though – stone cold emotion to go with his stone cold good looks.

Influenced by Aho’s power, Scott Darling is having some kind of game – the kind being a good game. Saves from point-blank chances and pucks bouncing all over the place. Keeping his team to just a one-goal deficit going into the third period.

These Carolina Hurricanes really want to spend two minutes in the penalty box tonight. I can’t blame them – two minutes to stare at the Sweet Finn Aho on the bench is a treat. Trip and slash every player to admire the Angelic features.

He touches your soul with his eyes……oh yeah, the Wings scored again.

Zetterberg steals the puck from Haydn Fluery – similar to how Aho steals hearts – and launches Nyquist for a sweet goal on the rush. Beautiful.

After a confusing kerfuffle of fists, Darren Helm ends up going to the box. It looks like even he wants a piece of the Aho-on-the-bench action. But boy, does he get lucky in two ways.

Coming out of the box, the puck is perfectly placed in line for him to be alone on a breakaway. Just so lucky to be there at the right time. You know it’s a special night because you have Sebastian Aho in the building and magic is in the air.

Darren “Cement Hands” Helm has scored on that breakaway. Not in just a boring way, but with a fucking slapshot. Who the hell in the modern game takes a slapshot on the breakaway? The worst option, but it worked for Helm tonight. So like I said – magic was in the air. Wings lead 4-1.

We should all enjoy the small pleasures. As fans of this team, you won’t experience any big pleasures any time soon. This team can’t continue to win pointless games that just hurt them in the end. Damn, I just don’t get how anyone can logically want this team to win.

Oh yeah, the Red Wings won tonight. Which is BAD.

Goodnight Sweet Elven Prince, may you bless everyone’s souls.

 

What looked like a dominant performance by the Red Wings on the boxscore, was a truly much closer game in reality. The Hurricanes defence limited opportunities for the Wings, but lucky bounces and scenarios got the better of the Canes in the end. Random breakaway chances out of the penalty box, lucky bounces, all of these went most of the Red Wings way, and in the end so did the game.

Since I can’t give it to The Sweet Elven Boy Sebastian Aho, I guess it would have to go to The Czech Greaseball Petr Mrazek. He stood on his greasy head tonight.

In his last 6 games, he has posted a delicious .967 SV% and that is reason enough to be traded away from this doomed-ass team. Be free Petr, be free.

The Red Wings are back TOMORROW against the Panthers. I hope you don’t have any plans because this is MUST-WATCH TELEVISION. WINGS. PANTHERS. HOLY SHIT THE DULLEST HOCKEY GAME OF THE SEASON. DON’T MISS IT.

You can catch it on FS-D at 7:00pm EST.

As always, Brock Seguin will have the Pre-Game up on WingsNation for you tomorrow and with much less Sebastian Aho references.