The Red Wings have now won three games in a row and have scored at least three goals in all three of those games – that means we all get some damn curly fries!

In this new magical world of Arby’s giving away some free curly fries for every time the Wings score three goals in a game, we can now gorge ourselves on some delicious fried potato shaped like a crazy straw.

If you’re not on your way to your local establishment after these games, then you’re wasting some good opportunity to feed yourself and your friends the salty taste of a Red Wings offense.

An offense that was abysmal to start this campaign has now caught fire and Arby’s will have to pay for it. Pay for it with their coiled Fibonacci sequence of browned potato covered in salt.

Just like Dylan Larkin is able to shoot the puck into the net, Arby’s will be shooting pleasure into my mouth with their abundance of curly fries.

But what can you do with your wonderful salted and fried companions? Just eat them? God no. There are so many terrific things that you will be able to do now that the Red Wings are scoring goals and giving you that box of goodness.

I came up with a total of six various things that you can do with your free curly fries that will help spread the joy of this Red Wings team scoring three or more goals.

What better way to enjoy some of that appetizing bundle of joy, then share it with some close friends? Maybe you’re a little hungry after filming your latest and greatest internet show from your basement and you need a little pick-me-up.

Some curly fries will surely do the trick, especially when you can think of all those sweet goals that were scored so that you can enjoy your fries in peace.

Make sure to clean up after yourselves though, don’t want any pesky mice feeding on the crumbs in your dungeon.

Nothing says “I love you and the Detroit Red Wings equally”, like a nice handful of curly fries to mark the start of your lives together.

Just slide those rings onto their finger and they will love you forever. They will show all of their friends and they will be filled with jealousy as they look at their finger and see that you truly do love them.

Why waste some solid gold on a new ring? Get some of those much better-tasting golden brown rings instead!

Make sure to get a really tightly-wound curly fry for this. But since plastic straws are destroying our oceans, why not replace them with some that can decompose and are delicious too.

Nothing makes some sweet soda taste better than it traveling to your mouth through some delectably fried potato. Plus, there are so many varieties, you can choose how much liquid you want with each gulp. Wow!

You will be the talk of the town if you stroll up to your local hangout spot with a handful of curly fries.

“Where did you get those?”. “Wow, am I ever jealous!”, and “I’m hungry for those fries like Anthony Mantha is hungry for goals.”, are just some of the phrases you will hear from your friends.

Your local TV station will then have a whole news segment on how much fun you’re having with your curly fries and hanging out with your friends.

The one Swedish friend won’t want to eat any, but he is certainly earning you some of those fries. You can say that he’s leading the way to getting you some more of those delightful rings.

Kids love toys and kids love fries. So why not make your fries a toy?

Just hook some of those heavenly circles together and suddenly you have something to entertain your young ones until they’re ready to pass out.

Sure you can just give them some cheap plastic and that can make them happy, but you know what’s better than plastic? Potato.

The final thing that you can do with your fries is a little violent, but everyone needs to let out a little stress once in a while.

Everyone has that one person in your life that you just think, “what the hell is wrong with them?”. Those types of people who don’t like curly fries, what gives?

How could anyone not love some exquisite rings of goodness that are completely free because your favorite hockey team scored some goals? I really have no idea what has gotten into them.

They seem happy on the outside, but deep down all they want is to gorge on some curly fries. Well, you might just have to be forceful for what’s good for them. Curly fries are always what is good for you. They make you happier no matter what.

You can suddenly feel a small piece of the accomplishment that your favorite Red Wings players did when they were able to score three goals. It is a mountain to climb, but they got there.

So everyone, enjoy your curly fries. Enjoy that feeling of appreciation for what all the hard work was for. All the trials and tribulations you have gone through – now you can eat some damn fried potatoes and feel good.

Keep the curly fries coming.